Il Diablo e Il Sole

IL DIABLO

1. To what do you feel bound or enslaved, and what will free you?
Like a lot of people, I feel enslaved to the American financial system. I feel that it was made for the sole purpose of belittling the American people and making sure that they feel overworked and inadequate all of the time. When I had to sign the terms of agreement for my student loans, I honestly felt like I had just signed away my life. And, in fact, I probably did sign away my soul, because, for the next few decades, I am going to be scrambling to pay off as much of the debts as I can. The banks may say that "they are investing in us" but when I see that five- or six- digit number, am I truly feel worthy of that investment? The only thing that can free me from this burden is either moving to Germany where a university education is free or having a large sum of money.   
2. What negative trait that you possess has only recently come to your awareness?
Until recently, I saw my ability to keep my emotions to myself as a positive trait. I could want to rip your head off and watch your body burn but smile at you as if you were my best friend. I could be in excruciating pain but still manage to get through the day without anyone knowing (unless I wanted them to know). I can keep my tears in so you may shed yours. I always used to think that bottling up my emotions would keep me safe from scrutiny or pity but it only seems to be threatening to bubble over and set off the smoke detector.
3. What fears get in the way of living your life, and how can you move through them?
My fear of failure keeps me from living my life. Not very new, I know. It seems that I cannot live life without making sure that there is a safety net somewhere for me to rely on. My worst nightmare would be for me to take a huge risk in life and end up bleeding my heart out all over the ground where everyone can see.
4. Who or what brings out the worst in you, and how do you allow it?
Please do not judge me for saying this, but my family, more often than not, brings out the worst in me.   For example, whenever I am around my mother, people comment on how I look depressed or how I need to not be so serious. I cannot help it. While she may be a very negative force in my life, it is very difficult to separate myself from her because I am part of her DNA and I cannot refute her. It is something that I have to learn to deal with.
5. In what ways do you sabotage your own well-being and success?
Every time that I look in the mirror in the morning and tell myself that I am worthless and ugly, I sabotage my well-being. When I think negatively about my future or my test scores, I am undoubtedly inhibiting my success. I have proven to be my own worst enemy.
6. What personal "demons" have you reconciled or conquered?
I have only just started my journey of self-reconciliation, therefore there is not much for me to say on this particular matter.

IL SOLE

1. What is your most powerful form of self-expression? (Where do you shine?)
I shine brightest when it comes to my knack for making people feel better about themselves. I have even been told on multiple occasions that I should become a motivational speaker. I know what makes certain people smile, I know when they need a comforting hand, and I have the drive to do it. (I know that it is technically not a form of self-expression, so pish-posh)
2. What doubts or insecurities have you overcome?
Now that I am writing this blog post assignment for a college class, I can say that I have overcome my insecurities about graduating high school and moving on to higher education. I am here, and here is where I plan to stay for the next four years. 
3. Who championed you and helped you appreciate or develop your gifts and talents?
I would like to give the credit to my Bubba back in Boston for really helping me to appreciate my gifts when few others did. He was the one who made sure I always had a book to read and made sure that I knew I was both academically and spiritually gifted. If you are reading this Bubba, bhagavaan bhala kare. 
4. What could you do to bring more joy in your life?
I could work on doing the things that I love most instead of trying to do what someone else wants me to do. By being a theatre major, I bring a little more joy into my life everyday.
5. What are you most optimistic about?
I am most optimistic about succeeding in life so that I may show off to all of the people who doubt me and say "Look at me now".